Do you thinks it's right to Change for the Other?

jhl930: i think that we have all heard some stories about people changing for the other and sometimes that is good in my opinion and then again sometimes its not that good honestly...i think that its good to change if you are doing something bad like maybe your a big drinker and you change for that person and your not such a drinker anymore or you are on drugs or something like that and you change for that person and you don't do drugs anymore, just stuff like that or maybe before you were the kind to have a few boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time(nto serious)and you just have the one now and you are happy...but then again there are bad ways that you can change...so what about all of you do you think its right to change for the other? thanks for taking the time to read my discussion and hopefully you will take part and answer...i hope that you all have a great day today!

manunulat: The questions that we should ask ourselves would be "Are we going to change for the better? And if so, are we ready to leave the old person we are?" CHANGE should not be treated as an enemy, it's a life force and it's inevitable. When we engage into a relationship, a change should always be welcomed as a force that could make both person grow and mature. When the examples that you have mentioned are stopped or measures have been done by the person who has that annoying behavior; the idea of determining whether he or she made that decision right is the quality of how that person made that decision. When a person decides to take action on that decision, there should be an affirmation that he or she is doing it for the better- the examples that you have cited is more beneficial to that person who has that unaccepted behavior when he or she realizes that the behavior needs to be changed. There should be a commitment to do the necessary ways to make his or her plans work and if the expected result does not manifest, a person should be ready to re-evaluate the kind of decision that had transpired. On the other hand, we cannot force others to make life changes according to our standards (it's confrontational when we nag or face our men, it won't work.). We can motivate others to Change using non-confrontational approaches because there are some people that really needs life-coaching. Yet, what's been embedded as Character is really difficult to address because a person may not be open-minded to consider the benefits of such decision. And if so, are we ready to live in with that kind of relationship and are we ready to accept that kind of person he or she is? If we respect individual differences, how long can we handle their behavior? We can not not communicate.